You want to make it don’t you? That thing that’s been nagging at you for weeks or years.
It feels big. It’s tugging at your sleeve. It won’t leave you alone, although you do your very best to ignore it.
“Create me!” It says, so innocently. As if it were the simplest thing in the world.
But simple it is not!
The stakes are high. Your sense of self is on the line. Your level of self-worth will be appraised. Because this thing is not just a cool idea, or a part of your career strategy, it’s the thing your soul wants you to create.
I know you know what it is. And if what I’m saying is starting to irritate you, then you definitely know what it is.
So what are you waiting for?
You’re waiting until you feel stronger.
You’re waiting until providence arrives to help you.
You’re waiting until you have more of a cushion to fall back on.
You’re waiting until you feel ready.
Because there’s this point in the future, when things will be different. Right?
You’ll be braver, or more prepared. You’ll have more experience. Or maybe a bunch of people will ask you to make it, so you’ll know it will work. You’ll have evidence that it will work! You’ll feel inspired!
Better to wait until then, when you’re ready.
None of this is actually true. But it’s the only story your mind can spin that will protect you from the truth. It’s the only way it can spare you the humiliation of admitting that actually, you’re scared.
Who wants to admit they’re afraid, and bottling it!?
No, much better to justify the whole thing to yourself.
You’re not ready
God. You’re so tired of believing it all. And believe it you do.
You believe it in the moment you load up Facebook, or pour another glass or wine, or turn on the TV, rather than turning toward your soul, and at least hearing what it wants.
“You’re not ready.” The fear whispers.
You believe it when you notice you feel jealous about everyone else who seems to be so on mission.
“It’s fine. You’re not ready to be like them anyhow.”
You believe it when you just diligently get on with your tasks, and go through the motions.
“Yes, better to just stick to what you’re good at. You’re not ready yet. Just wait.”
He’s so sure of himself. He is adamant about the risks at hand. He seems so strong. He has so much authority. It’s no wonder you’ve followed his advice.
But it’s not working. Under his leadership, you’re suffering. He promises much. Much never delivers.
Go gently. But go.
So, what are you waiting for sweetheart?
I know. It’s fucking scary. That’s a good sign. It means you were right, and this is indeed the call of your soul.
But you’ve got to be brave. Ok?
Don’t push yourself too hard. That will only get good old fear freaking out again. You need to look after him too.
Take it easy. Go gently. But go!
Otherwise you’ll be waiting until it’s safe. And it will never be safe.
What’s the first step? The first tiny step. The smallest step you can imagine.
If you can’t do even that, just write down what it would be.
“If I were to follow the call of my soul, the first small step would be…”
Pin it on your refrigerator. And keep looking at it. Breathe. Don’t forget to breathe.
That’s it. That’s your first step. You just took it.
Say “well done.” Say it out loud.
Then take the next step tomorrow. Or next week. Just make sure you keep moving.
The speed at which you progress is not the point. Moving is. This is how we feel good about ourselves. This is what tells us we’re doing the right thing.
Look with honest eyes, at what it is you are called to create. And then watch yourself as you move slowly toward it.
That is the feeling of being on purpose.